Tomorrow morning I have to say farewell to my 14 year old daughter who is travelling to Japan for a few weeks with a school group from SFX. We've been getting organised for weeks now and while she's all ready to go, I am a bit nervous for her.

Two of my other children have gone on similar trips with SFX and these trips are exceptionally organised (I cannot speak highly enough of the teachers who lead these). My daughter was also part of Girl Guides for a long time. Girl Guides teaches the girls responsibility, collaboration, leadership skills and service. She learnt how to pack for herself and look after her belongings when she was away. If I think about it, she's well prepared and in a well organised program, so why am I still nervous?

I think I'm nervous because if, by the absolute remotest chance, something happens that causes her to feel hurt, anxious or unsafe I won't be nearby to help. It's so easy to take that perfectly natural anxiety I feel for my daughter in this situation and turn it into very controlling behaviours. I could prevent her from going. I could pack everything for her without her contributing. I could make demands that she call me every day at 7.00pm even if she doesn't have the capacity to do that. I could start barraging the teachers with questions and demands about how they need to look after her (as though they had the time to personally parent her in my absence when they have 24 other students to also look after on the trip). I could let my perfectly natural anxiety manifest into perfectly unnatural behaviours that in the end prevent her from developing the confidence and independence that I long her to have as an adult.

So I am reminded now again of my mantra 'Never do anything for children that they have the capacity to do for themselves'. She is in a perfectly safe tour group, with very responsible, capable and lovely people. She's in a very safe environment (Japan is considered one of the safest countries in the world to visit). She's packed herself (with my eye over her shoulder) so she knows where to find everything. She's been talking to her host family and so knows who she is going to meet. She's been looking up information and reading what she needs to do and know. She's been to all the meetings and listened intently. She's now set up to succeed... without me. When I think about all of this, I relax.

I'm glad that her capacity for independence was developed early in Primary School, when, as soon as we could, we made her be part of packing her lunch and her school bag, responsible for remembering her hat each day, getting her homework done, remembering her library books, having the right uniform items on, even carrying her own bag into school each day. It started with the little things, each and every day, where, when she could do it for herself, she did.

While I can easily name some times when I have been less than the best parent for her, I'm glad we always encouraged her independence. She's so much more confident and capable for it. She can now explore so many more opportunities and my natural parental anxiety is eased more quickly. 

Remember.....Never do anything for children that they have the capacity to do for themselves. Every child is different. But whenever they have the capacity to learn to do a task for themselves, teach them, guide them, support them and expect if from them. The pay off may not be immediate. It may be years down the track. We play a 'long game' as parents, growing our children to become the next generation of caring, capable and collaborative adults.

Congratulations Mr Ganley

After a successful contract review process I would like to offer my congratulations to Mr Anthony Ganley for being reappointed as Assistant Principal of St John the Apostle Primary School. Thank you for your wonderful contributions to our school community until now and for your continued support for our students, staff and families.

Sport seasons end with a bang!

It's that time of year when the winter sport season is drawing to a close. Many of our students love their weekend sport and play in various codes and teams across Canberra. Congratulations to every one and thank you for sharing your St John's spirit with others. You can see many of the teams our students belong to on our Facebook page.

We also have a few 'St John's' teams in local competitions (where the entire team is made up of St John's students). This weekend one such team has made it to their grand final. Well done to the SJA Maroon's netball team, coached by Mr Gibson and also managed by Mrs Bronwyn Ward. We know you will do your very best and hope that, no matter what the outcome, you are very proud of your achievements and know we are proud of you too. Well done!

Have a lovely weekend one and all!

Kind regards,