Last night I spent the evening at St Clement’s Retreat at Galong with 12 other Principals. Every Principal is part of a small group that meets three times a year to reflect, pray and replenish. The program is called Siloam.

Siloam is barely 24 hours long but has become one of the most highly treasured times in every Principal’s year. We have a night of prayer and mass together, we eat together, we have a good night’s sleep and then we meet during the next day to reflect on our own leadership and on the role of a Catholic school.

What we treasure about Siloam the most is that we are together, connected, listening to and learning from each other. Being a Principal can be a very lonely job at times, despite being surrounded by many beautiful and capable people. At Siloam, it is this connection to others who know exactly what your job is like, who empathise and understand its various complexities and demands, that is the most nourishing.

Connection with others who understand and accept you is extraordinarily nourishing.

When my wife and I moved to Canberra from Adelaide in 2001 it was for her to enter into a new job. We had two children (3 and 1 and a half) at the time and it was my turn to be the at-home parent for the immediate future. We moved in the cold of June. We knew no one and my wife went to work almost immediately after we moved here. For the first few months I knew no one and the need to connect and find a place to belong became increasingly important. I started taking the children to the shopping centre almost every day just to feel present among a group of people. It was a very lonely time and I missed family and friends in Adelaide.

It was when I connected into a playgroup at Kippax Uniting Church and when we settled into the St John the Apostle Parish where we met other families who have since become our lifelong friends that we started to be nourished and grow as a family. What started as a ’12 month experiment’ turned into 18 years and two more children and a long and beautiful chapter in our family story.

• Who are you connected with?
• Who is in your network of support?
• Where do you go to for understanding, acceptance and help?

I know how parenting can be a lonely role at times, for many different reasons. Sometimes friends and family is enough and sometimes, as well-meaning as they are, they don’t understand what is happening for us. In my position, I also know of many different groups and services that can provide support and assistance, as well as understanding and acceptance to anyone in need. It just requires connection.

Over the coming weeks I will feature a variety of important services and groups that our families can connect with and be nourished by. Feel free to make your own connection or to recommend them to others who you know need their support and help.

Let’s help make sure everyone in our community is nourished through connection.

Enjoy your long weekend (I have a skip waiting for me).

Matthew Garton, Principal