Parents are often confused about their children’s behaviour. It can be puzzling why a child may be lazy, stubborn or a have an eating problem. One way of looking at misbehaviour is to look for the purpose or payoff that a child receives by misbehaving. This is particularly pertinent if misbehaviour is continuous or a child persists with certain behaviour. The key is not ask ‘Why?’ but ‘What’s the purpose?’ of misbehaviour. Children will often whinge because they know someone will give into them eventually. A child is generally only lazy when someone is willing to do things for them. Many eating problems will develop if parents are overlyconcerned about the quality and nature of foods that a child eats.

Most behaviour involves someone at some point – usually parents either directly or indirectly – so by focusing on your reaction or the reaction of others will give you an insight into the purpose of children’s negative behaviour.