Last weekend I caught up on Grace Tame's recent speech at the National Press Club. For those of you not yet familiar with Grace Tame, she is the 2021 Australian of the Year. She was honoured in January this year for her hard fought work in overturning Tasmania's Evidence Act which prevented victims of sexual abuse from talking publicly about their experience, yet perpetrators were free to. This act contributed to a culture of shame and silence for victims. It was utterly disempowering; and because the perpetrators are almost always men, it continued to support a culture where there was a lack of appropriate accountability for men in relation to violence against women and in some cases children. The Evidence Act no longer exists in such a form.

At the same time the media has been swamped with discussion around various women's experiences of sexual violence, or at the very least gender bias, within the culture of federal politics in Canberra. Young women are also coming forward to tell their own story of sexual abuse as a teenage girl by teenage boys during high school or post school education.

So why am I writing about this as Principal of a primary school?

While Grace's speech was full of vulnerability and courage in telling her story, and it was gut wrenching and necessary to hear, there were two striking points for me as a Primary School Principal.

Firstly, was her comment in relation to men expressing empathy 'as a father of girls':

“It shouldn’t take having children to have a conscience, and, actually, on top of that, having children doesn’t guarantee a conscience.”

At last! Someone finally said it. 

I understand that 'as a father of girls' is an attempt by men to empathise with women about an experience that they have not shared and I don't wish to contribute to a culture where men should be scared to say anything to express their empathy, compassion and care for victims. In fact, Grace succinctly explained that the best response may sometimes be "I don't know what to say....but I'm here to support you".

Grace Tame's comment on this turn of phrase reminded me again of the language we use that unwittingly contributes to a culture where we have different expectations and accountabilities for boys and girls. Where we permit boys to behave in ways that can be aggressive and disrespectful to others and don't easily accept young girls showing strength and assertiveness. Phrases such as 'boys will be boys' is a perfect example of this. It provides permission for boys to express their frustration and anger in violent ways towards others. Often beginning with each other, this may then lead to hurting others in their life. Equally true phrases such as 'don't be a bossy girl' gives the message that girls should be passive, not voice dissent or share their opinion, knowledge or experience as equally valid; contributing to a culture of silence.

Prevention

Which leads me to the second point Grace made that stayed with me. That prevention of sexual violence and abuse begins in the younger years and that education, primary school education, can make a difference.

Alongside ensuring that all adults who work with students in schools comply with Working With Vulnerable People regulations we also need to start now in preventing sexual abuse and violence in the future.

It isn't part of our primary school curriculum to talk directly about sexual abuse or violence. We won't be bringing it up in classes. What we can do is work alongside families to help children develop the values, attitudes, behaviours and skills where this just doesn't occur for them as either a victim or perpetrator in their future.

Grace spoke about making sure that we adults are educated about what grooming looks like and what behaviours we can expect in our own children should they be experiencing this. We also need to empower our children to help themselves not become a victim to the best of their capacity.

Our health curriculum teaches children generally about making safe choices and recognising when they are feeling unsafe. One way we do this is by including messages from the Protective Behaviours program such as:

1. We all have the right to feel safe all of the time.
2. There is nothing so awful, or too small, we can't talk about it with someone.

In the younger years we teach children to recognise their own early warning signs for when they feel unsafe (in general contexts), how their emotions and body show them they might be unsafe. We also help them identify people in their circle of support that they can talk to when they are feeling unsafe.

Supporting children to prevent them being victims is one approach. We also need to develop a culture, particularly with an awareness of gender biases, where the types of sexual abuse and violence Grace Tame and other women have experienced, does not occur.

Developing a culture of respect

At St John the Apostle our mission is 'to be on earth the heart of God'. Our school expectations are 'Respect Others, Respect Self and Respect the Environment'. I am, we are, committed to working with families to help our students learn and understand that:

• everyone deserves to receive the same level of respect as anyone else;
• everyone has the capacity and is expected to give the same level of respect to everyone else;
• violence is never, ever an appropriate expression of anger and frustration, and;
• one's capacity and achievements are not limited by one's (gender) identity, rather by the social structures and expectations that are placed on a person because of their (gender) identity.

On this last point I would encourage anyone interested in understanding the current neuroscience around this to read The Gendered Brain by Gina Rippon about the myth of the male and female brain.

Our Positive Behaviour for Learning Policy reflects the understandings above. We

continue to:

• name and teach what 'respect' looks and sounds like for every student from K-6;
• look for, acknowledge and celebrate positive examples of when students display respect;
• name, respond to and discourage disrespectful behaviour;
• develop classroom and outdoor physical environments that support and enable children to feel respected and have respectful behaviour;
• provide support for students with complex needs to understand and learn respectful ways of learning and playing with others.

Later this year we are working with a consultant to refine our practices in this area even further.

We can support the prevention of future sexual abuse and violence when students are with us. We are committed to supporting families in being part of the solution where we see that we can. We will do our best to help every boy and girl who leaves St John the Apostle to be strong and assured within themselves and to know how to seek support or be a support for others.

If you would like to hear Grace Tame's speech you can view this on ABC iview. If you would like to discuss anything I've raised please feel free to contact me.

Next weekend kitchen garden working bee!

We'd like to get the kitchen garden ready for winter planting and it needs a little tidy up that adults will do more effectively. Our Working Bee will be held on Sunday morning 21st March, 9.00am to 11.00 am. We'd love to have as many people as possible. If you can make it please register below. Children are welcome to come with parents or grandparents to either help or play nearby. Refreshments will be provided.

God Bless,

Matthew Garton

Principal