Dear St John the Apostle Primary School Community,

It was lovely to see all of the grandparents who visited the students yesterday. We pushed it back this year, knowing that the weather was going to be a little warmer for everyone. Thank you to all of the grandparents who travelled a long distance to be with us. Thank you also to the school choir who prepared a few pieces to share and to Kate Macdonald, Ryan Spencer and Mr Patrick Corr for supporting them.

Congratulations Ms MacDonald!

Last night a number of staff went to see Ms MacDonald receive the Boundless Award at the Recognition Awards Mass as part of the 2019 Catholic Schools Cultural Festival. The award goes to an artist that, through their medium, helps students, staff or parents engage in an exploration of their spirituality and faith. Ms MacDonald is a very worthy winner of this award. It was a pleasure to celebrate this with her. You can see many of her pieces from the past two years hanging around the school. 

'the heart of God'....gossip?

I was reading a book recently that sidelined into a discussion on 'gossip' and its dangers in a community, whether that be a community of work, family or friends. It can destroy relationships, reputations and careers faster than anything else. Everyone is tempted to gossip.

Most of us think that gossip is saying something 'bad' about someone else when that person isn't there. But what if we say something good? Is that also gossip?

According to Roget's dictionary gossip is "idle talk or rumour, especially about the personal or private affairs of others". Some synonyms for one who gossips include "chatterer", "talker"., "gabbler", rumormonger", "blabbermouth", "busy-body", "chatterbox"...the list goes on. When we're talking about one's reputation I sure don't want to be thought of as someone like this!

A strict definition of gossip is talking about another person when he/she is not present. However, I resonate with the use of the word 'idle' in the definition above. I see gossip as idly talking about another person, when they are not present, so as to alter how others think about that person. It is 'idle' because it a conversation that just sits there, doesn't produce anything, changes nothing about a situation and leads to assumptions and inaccuracies because the person the gossip is about has no opportunity to clarify, confirm or respond to its content. The results can be devastating for people's reputation, well-being and for relationships in the community.

One of the significant problems with gossip is that it breaks trust. If you know someone who gossips with you, it is highly likely they can gossip about you with someone else. They become hard to trust.

Another problem with gossip is that it leaves one feeling worse, not better. When we feel frustrated we think that 'venting' releases pressure. Gossip is not venting. We are usually left still feeling frustrated, not better.

The bottom line is that unless our conversation is solving a problem or planning a conversation we know we need to have then we are gossiping. It serves no purpose.

I'm realistic. I know that gossip happens, including in our community. It is always a temptation and sometimes a long held habit by people who no longer realise they are doing it. However, gossip does not belong in a community whose mission is 'to be on earth the heart of God' and where we teach our students 'respect others' and 'respect self'.

If you are ever drawn into a situation that appears to be gossip then I encourage you to:

• add nothing, without responses the conversation can't keep going
• be open and curious, it's likely we don't truly know what is happening for people and have made some inaccurate assumptions
• act, if it is important then go to a person in authority or to the person about whom the gossip is spoken and talk to them. If this doesn't seem appropriate, then it is probably not
• be a force for community building, focus on the positive, celebrate what is good and build strong friendships and relationships at school that help both your family and your children.

Let's continue to build a strong community of positive and supportive relationships, setting an example that leads our students and children to become positive, active, community builders of the future. Gossip breaks relationships. United together we create a very, very bright future for St John the Apostle Primary School.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all of the fathers in our community for this Sunday. May it be a wonderful family celebration of your commitment and love to those you care for. Thank you for everything you do to suppoort your child here at St John the Apostle.

Have a beautful weekend!

Kind regards,

Matthew Garton (Principal)

Happy birthday to James H, Achol A,, Ekluvya G, Joshua P, Cassidy S, Ethan B, Francesca M and Arman M who all celebrated a birthday over the last week.

Congratulations to the following students who received an award for the fortnightly Positive Behaviour Focus 'Use sticky creatively and peacefully' or another great achievement. The awards will be presented at the School Assembly on Monday 2 September at 2:15pm.

A reminder that the 2019 Catholic Primary Schools Netball Carnival for years 2-6 will be held on Saturday 19 October 2019. For full details and to register go to the feed on the Skoolzine app and click on 'Catholic Schools Netball Carnival (Years 2-6) which was sent on 23 August. Please note that registration closes Monday 2nd September.

2019 Family photo booking

Now is the time to book your place at this year’s Family photo fundraiser on Sunday 15 September 2019. Places filled fast last year so if you want to get an A4 sized (10″ x 13″) professional family photo for only $20, then please book ASAP.  Anyone is welcome so forward these details onto other families at different schools who may be interested too.

You can easily book online on our fundraising website at https://sjapsfundraising.com/family-photo-booking

The photo shoot takes only 15 minutes of your time and provides the cheapest and best value professional family photo on the market today.  The $20 will go towards our playground refurbishment and, if you choose, you can purchase additional professional portraits, but there is absolutely no obligation to buy these.

We have been doing this fundraiser for a few years now as it is great value for families, but you can see photo examples on the Laura Jean website.

Once you’ve made your booking please pay your money using Qkr (under community council payments) or pay at the front office.

Please note that Laura Jean only permits people to appear in one sitting (children with separated families are permitted to appear in multiple sittings), however grandparents are welcome to come along to your sitting and have extra photos taken.

If you have any questions please email me at belinda.duke@hotmail.com.au

Belinda Duke
SJAPS Fundraising Coordinator

Collecting Plastic Milk Bottle Tops

Enabling the Future is creating prosthetic hands with 3D printers for children. The Rotary Club of Belconnen is collecting milk (or similar) tops to forward them to the maker.

Can you help?  Please donate your plastic bottle tops to the front office for collection.

Congratulations to Max M who represented St Johns at the Interschool Snowsport Cross Country Ski Championships last week. He came 11^th and qualified for the National Championships. He did an amazing job for his first cross country school race! Well done Max!

Leaving your fathering mark

by Michael Grose

Currently, there’s a strong tendency to view successful fathering through the lens of skills and knowledge acquisition. That is, to raise kids today effective fathers, like mothers, need to keep building their skill sets (What’s the most appropriate way to manage kids today?) and their knowledge (What’s the latest research about the impact of digital technology on children?). Staying one step ahead can be exhausting and make a man feel inadequate if he can't keep up.

Another way to look at fathering is through the generative parenting lens. That is, fathering is an activity that's rooted in a man's biology in much the same way that mothering is an instinctive activity.  If the mothering instinct is to nurture and protect children, a father's instinct is to teach and develop his children's skills and knowledge so they can thrive long after the time he's left this world.

The generative fathering notion developed by researchers Dollahite, Hawkens and Brotherson explains why many men will turn a simple game they have with their children into a lesson into how to hold a ball; defeat that opponent or stand firm in the face of fear.  Father-son relationships can be scuppered by this well-intentioned, but oft mistimed 'you can always get better' attitude.

Generative fathers tend to look long term when they raise their kids. Quintessentially, generative fathers work hard to be good men and good citizens.  Love, availability and character become their fathering stock in trade.

Generative fathers keep pace with their children's development adjusting their role at different stages. For instance, during a child's latency (primary school years) they focus on recreational work and so they help develop children's interests and competencies through sport, hobbies and leisure activities. The task for generative fathers of early adolescents is to help their children develop strong values and inner beliefs. This spiritual work (not necessarily in a religious sense) helps young people develop the moral compasses they need to act safely and be good citizens when fathers aren't around.

For generative parents, fathering becomes a lifelong task, and doesn't stop when children become adults, leave home and start families of their own.  It is in this stage that men take on mentoring work, passing on the wisdom gained from their experiences to the next generation so that they don't repeat the same mistakes that they have made. Fathering never stops. It changes with the development of your children.

This Father’s Day, while enjoying the accolades and attention that will come your way consider the generational impact you are having on your kids.

Your lasting fathering legacy will be determined by the character you display; the way you live your life and how you relate to your family. Those are attributes that you can continue to work on over the coming twelve months.

You will find more information about generative fathering in my book A Man's guide to raising kids at www.parentingideas.com.au